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Author: JFrost
Rating: M
Published: 8-7-09
Summary:
One thing is certain in the Kingdom. The King does not love his Queen. Ripped from her home at a young age, Serenity was left to deal with her husbands abuse alone. Her very happiness was taken, and the idea of love became a myth. Until she met Darien
WARNING!
MATURE CONTENT!
Title: Legends of Love
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Sailor Moon
Authors Notes:
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Sailor Moon
Authors Notes:
Hey everyone. Here we are with the first chapter of my new story! Thank you so much Kimberly Kelly for being my Beta Reader!
First off, I'm going to answer a question I know will be coming up immediately. Someone always fails to read the authors notes and then makes a comment about something I've explained. I picked Serenity and Darien for the name combination. I know it doesn't make any sense because it's supposed to be either Serenity/Endymion or Darien/Serena, but I made this decision for a reason. Serenity is a Queen, so she's royal and her name sort of goes with that. Darien isn't and there for his name has to be a little more common. If started writing it, and it was hard to get someone called Endymion to feel like he's not supposed to be royal. So that's it. I consciously made the decision.
For those who care, I've changed the Intro. If you want to re-read it go ahead, but it's not part of the story. I did have a query if anyone knows the answer, but that's all!
Here's the story!
If there were one thing The Kingdom was known for, it would be that the people loved gossip. Most spouts of idle gossip were relatively innocent. This noble did this, a different lady did that. Mostly it was nothing more than an interesting way to pass the time. But there were a few things that everyone knew were completely true. One was that the poor were poor and the rich were rich. Another was that marriage was finite, and divorce wasn't an option. But the one most whispered about rumor that everyone knew was true, was that the King was cruel to his wife.
Princess Serenity had married the King when she was fourteen years old and he had viewed her as one of his horses, in need of breaking. The beautiful young girl had hoped for nothing more than a peaceful home and the chance to help those around her. She hadn't gotten it. The King was an abusive man and his young wife's spirit had annoyed him. By the time she was 15, her once bright eyes were sad and her seemingly endless energy had calmed to little more than a minimal drawl.
But no matter what the King did to her, the laws of the land made it nearly impossible for her to escape and the people had to watch their shining hope continue to dim until they feared she would fade out completely.
Serenity sat quietly as the procession of nobles bowed one by one to the King and then to her. She didn't react for the most part, unless it was someone she knew. There was no point when her husband sat in his chair as uncaring as anyone could ever be. It was spring and everyone had filed back into the city for the season. The flowers were blossoming and the nobles would be looking to marry off their daughters of age. Every year was the same. A new crop of girls would be presented in a grand ball and any eligible man who was looking for a wife would make himself known.
It was all a little eager, but Serenity numbed herself to it. She had already been married for a few years and she knew more than anyone else that it did not provide any sort of security.
"Are you alright your majesty?"
Serenity looked at Lady Raye, who was one of her more constant companions and faked a smile.
"I am fine," she said softly, then turned back to the procession.
Raye looked worried, but didn't say anything as Serenity gazed steadily on to the flow of people presenting themselves in the palace. She knew it would be over soon and she knew that she didn't have a choice in that matter at all.
Serenity gave a real smile as Lady Amy was introduced as a lady of means, who was still available to marry. Amy smiled back warmly, holding a faded book in her slim hands and looking every bit as lovely and happy as she had the last time Serenity had seen her.
At long last the line came to an end and Serenity waited patiently for the King to leave before her.
He stood up quickly and it looked like he was going to simply pass by her without a word. But she wasn't that lucky.
At the last moment he turned his dark gaze on her. "You will make yourself ready for me tonight," he said commandingly before continuing out of the room. His tall, intimidating mass made everyone step eagerly out of his path.
Raye took her hand gently as Serenity looked down.
"Come on," Raye said softly, "let's go meet Lita in the gardens. She promised to be there after she was done with her husband."
Serenity nodded, leaving the room with much more grace and poise than her husband had done. The guards all bowed to her, placing their hands on their chests and the women curtsied very low.
Raye continued to hold her hand, walking slightly behind her, while they made their way out into the beautiful hot sunshine of the glorious day. Serenity felt the fresh air cleanse her and she breathed in deeply as the smell of roses permeated the air around her.
"Was it awful?" Lita asked cheerfully.
Serenity sat on the low stone bench as Raye sighed dramatically.
"There are more girls this year and not enough men."
"My husband says that there are hardly any young men coming of age, and even fewer who are interested in marriage yet. It might come down to us losing some of our ladies to foreign kingdoms."
Serenity didn't say anything as she gazed over the seas of red roses in front of her. They were beautiful this year. Some were still very new and others had not yet bloomed, but she could tell it wouldn't be long now.
"Serenity?"
She looked back at her friends, realizing that she had stopped listening to them. She felt guilt well up inside her.
"I'm sorry, I must be more tired than I thought. What was the question?"
They looked at each other before turning back to her with worry in their eyes.
"We were just wondering how far it is to your home."
Serenity crossed her hands across her lap, trying to appear as involved in the conversation as she could. But thinking of her home saddened her, so she numbered herself to it.
"Two months I believe," she answered. "But that's if you don't travel through the night. When I was brought here, we traveled almost constantly, so it was less than that. I couldn't very well show up late to my wedding."
A few years ago she might have said that with amusement, but today her voice was flat.
"I'm sure, if the situation called for it, the King would send out notices to all neighboring kingdoms. There must be men somewhere," Lita said trying to keep the tone light.
"It shouldn't matter to you. You've already found one."
Lita glanced at Serenity, who didn't react. "Yes, I did."
Serenity knew why Lita didn't talk about her husband. It was because she loved him. Their marriage had not been arranged. They had fallen in love, and then he had asked for her hand. Lita had cried in happiness as she said yes and they had married only two months later. And now, two years into it, Lita was glowing with the beginnings of her first child. She was hardly two months along, but already it had started to show and Lita felt awful for being happy when her friend was not.
"Things will work themselves out," Serenity said gently. "They always do."
Once she had believed it, but she had no conviction in her voice anymore. Things would not work out for her. She was resigned to that.
That evening, when most of the palace had gone to bed, Serenity sat awake, waiting for her husband to come to her. This was not a rare occurrence, but it was not one of any pleasure. The King felt pleasure in dominating her and she had long ago stopped fighting him. It was his success in breaking her that he continued to be attracted to.
He came in without ceremony. The secret door that lead to his room swung open and he stepped in as if the room were his. He looked at her, sitting quiet and calm on the bed and smiled a dark smile.
"Shall we exchange pleasantries?"
She didn't answer. He wasn't looking for an answer. She stood up as he came towards her, unbuttoning his pants and not bothering to take his shirt off.
"Take that off," he said.
Serenity slipped her nightgown over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor without ceremony.
The way he looked at her, grinning softly, was not something that made her want him to touch her. She forced herself not to shiver or look away from him. He reached out to touch her, his hands rough against her pale skin.
Grabbing her arm, he spun her around and pushed her onto the tall bed.
This was what it was always like. Serenity didn't know what pleasure in sex was. Her husband had never made love to her. He touched her frequently, but not with any care.
She cringed as he forced himself into her, not giving her the time to become adjusted to him as he almost immediately began thrusting. He took her hips tightly in his hands, holding her steady as he increased his speed.
This was not what it was supposed to be like. She knew it. She had overheard Lita speaking to Raye about how much pleasure she got from her husband. The sensual way in which he touched her. How her body heat up in desire at the mere though of him.
The only thing Serenity could say she may even like about this time with her husband, was that it was short.
With an intense groan, he released into her.
He breathed heavily for a moment and pulled himself slowly out, laughing to himself before slapping her hard on her back end.
"Don't cringe my Queen," he said in a mocking voice. "You're not as attractive when you pull your face like that."
He was already walking away, doing his pants back up.
Serenity waited until she heard the little door click shut before rolling onto her back, pulling her blankets with her to cover her nude form.
She stared up at the ceiling, feeling the slick wetness of him drip gently down her leg. Every time she felt a little sore. Every time she was aware of the marks his fingers had made in her body as he squeezed her too tight while he climaxed.
And every time she was unable to stop a few tears from sliding silently down her face before she was able to compose herself enough to clean herself up and then crawl into bed, beaten and hurt.
"I was thinking that perhaps we should go into the city," Raye said absently moving around Serenity's bedroom as a maid did Serenity's hair.
"If you wish," Serenity said without enthusiasm.
Raye glanced at her, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, she changed the subject.
"Why don't you wear your hair down anymore?"
"What do you mean?"
"When you came here, I remember seeing you with your silky blonde hair shining in delicate curls all down your back and I was completely jealous that my hair was simply straight and I couldn't pull it off."
Serenity smiled softly. "Your hair is beautiful when it's down Raye."
Raye waved her hand at the comment. "Yes, but I couldn't always be bothered. You used to wear it down all the time."
"The King doesn't like it."
Raye looked at her. "So?"
Serenity looked down at her hands. The heavy gold ring of her marriage was gaudy on her finger. "It's easier not to give him a reason."
Raye nodded as the maid finished her hair and left the room silently.
"I shouldn't have said that," Serenity said softly.
"Serenity, it kills me that you're like this," Raye said sitting down beside her, looking at her with concern in her eyes. "Please, don't shut me out for this moment. Talk to me. You used to fight so hard."
Serenity felt the tears threaten to come, but she fought to keep them at bay. "Sometimes, you only have so much fight in you."
"So you've really given up?"
"Do I have another choice?" She asked quietly.
"Yes!" Raye said with passion. "You have every choice in the world available to you. Defy him. Stand up against him. Dare to be happy despite what he's done to you."
"What's the point?" Serenity asked.
Raye looked like she wanted to slap her. "The point," she hissed through her teeth, "is that you've let a horrible, greedy son of a whore take away the very thing that made you special."
Serenity looked up in surprise at Raye's vulgar words.
"Finally," Raye stood up in anger. "A reaction. You've been nothing, but a dull grey stone for months."
Serenity looked away from her, to her reflection in the mirror. She looked at her pale face, flawless as ever. Her blue eyes, blue as the sky. Blonde hair, pulled up and pinned above her. She knew she was beautiful, but it had been a long time since she had been able to feel it.
"The woman I knew had a spirit that could never be crushed."
"It was crushed Raye," Serenity said without emotion. "That doesn't mean I'm any different, it just means you were wrong about who you thought I was."
"You let him walk all over you."
"He is the King and he is my husband."
"He is a cruel uncaring demon and you are a hundred times better than him."
"Why?" Serenity asked. "What makes me better?"
Raye felt the anger slowly leave her at Serenity's defeated tone. She hesitated, unclenching her fists as the worry for her friend started to come back. "Your heart," she answered seriously. "It was always bigger than the rest of ours."
Serenity didn't answer.
"Perhaps you should spend some time alone," Raye said. "Lita and I will go to town. Why don't you walk around the gardens for awhile and try to remember what used to make you happy."
She didn't move as Raye walked out of the room. This was not the first time they had, had this kind argument, but it was the first time Raye had decided to walk out on her.
She sighed, looking around her room and feeling alone. Mostly, her friends took turns staying close to her, hoping to make her feel better. She wasn't usually by herself, with her own thoughts, unless it was night. The glaring differences of the bright sun through the windows felt odd to her.
She got up and walked towards her personal bookcase, thinking that a book would help get her mind off the situation. She ran her hands along the spines of the books, wondering which adventure she might feel like this time. The romances lined the top shelf, dusty from lack of use. The idea of true love simply didn't apply anymore. She had delved into history, learning everything there was to know about the world. She was now fully learned in most kingdoms, but the idea of filling her mind with facts didn't appeal to her today. Neither did adventure.
But her hand did stop, as it always did, on a few leather bound volumes that had no title. She knew what they were and she always stopped to acknowledge them, but she never pulled them out. They had stayed there for years. She had stopped writing in them a few months after her wedding.
She continued past them, thinking that perhaps she would need to visit the library for a more extensive selection, but her argument with Raye made her glance back at them.
What used to make her happy?
She was almost afraid of the answer. She had been happy once, she was sure of it.
Slowly, she slid the first volume out and delicately opened it to the first page. Her perfectly curled and girlish writing almost seemed to smile at her and it immediately made her heart ache.
She flipped to the first page, noting the date. She had been twelve when she had first started keeping these journals. Her mother had insisted, smiling at her as she told her that one day she would want to look back.
She started reading.
'Mother took me to the country for a few days and we just now returned to the palace. I loved the little vacation, but the palace is really my home. Everyone I know is here. My friends, my family and everyone I love. Most importantly is Seiya. For my birthday he gave me a beautiful golden locket. He laughed when I blushed, but then kissed my cheek and told me I am beautiful. I hope that one day my husband will be as handsome and kind as Seiya. I would marry him, if only he were a prince.'
She closed the book without reading more, remembering her childhood crush. The young man had grown up in the palace, having lost his parents. The queen had taken him and his two brothers and made sure they were provided for until they were old enough to take care of their own estate. Seiya had been her closest friend.
She slid the book back onto the bookshelf, knowing she was close to breaking down.
Raye was wrong. She couldn't handle trying to be happy again. No matter what, she would never have the hope and expectations of life as she had, had as a child. It would hurt too much to have half.
That night, Serenity wrapped herself in her night robes, knowing that the King would not come to visit her today. Already her maid had informed her that he had called his favorite mistress to his rooms and that meant that he would not care about her being ready for him.
It was late. Too late for her to be up, but she couldn't sleep. After the day by herself, spent finding things to occupy her mind, she found that already too many things had been able to sneak into her mind.
She reached over to her glass of milk, but found it empty.
It was so late.
She sighed, not wanting to wake one of the servants to get her more. She pushed her loose hair over her shoulder and took her glass with her out of the room and through the palace.
She had done this before. The kitchen staff knew her and knew not to make a big deal when she was getting something for herself, but none of them would be awake now. This late at night, the only people up would be the guards around the palace whose job it was to protect them. But none of them were inside.
The cold marble of the floor made her wish she had remembered to put on her slippers, but it was too late now to turn back. She flew easily down the spiral staircases that led to the dining room. From there, she entered the small servant's door that lead down to the kitchens.
The room glowed softly with candlelight, but nobody was there. She made her way across the large stone floor to the cold room where the milk was kept.
But then she stopped.
Serenity heard a faint music drift through the empty room. She could hardly make out what it was it was so faint.
Curious, she moved towards the door in the back of the baking room, which led outside to where the coal and fire kept the room unusually warm. The embers glowed softly as she passed them into the open courtyard.
The night was warm. A soft breeze drifted passed her, playing lightly with her hair as the sound steadily grew louder. And with it came voices. Lots of voices.
"Your majesty?"
Serenity spun around at the startled voice, but was immediately relieved to see her personal maid Molly looking at her with shock in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Molly said with a quick curtsy. "If there is something you need, I would be honored to get it for you."
Serenity shook her head. "I was just getting myself some milk when I heard the music. Where is it coming from?"
Serenity was a little surprised at how eager her voice sounded and she knew by the look on Molly's face that she was thinking the same thing.
"Mr. Knox had his sixtieth birthday today. Some of the men put together a little celebration in one of the empty stables. They're having a dance."
Serenity smiled. "Mr. Knox runs the palace, does he not?"
"Yes, he does," Molly said still a little shocked.
"I did not know it was his birthday."
Molly nodded. "Would you like to see it?"
Serenity looked at her surprised. "What do you mean?"
"It's the only stable that's empty because it's too easy to break into. There's few ways in that I'm sure we could find without you being seen if you wanted to take a look."
She hesitated for only a moment, wondering if she would get in trouble for it. "I would love to."
Molly smiled, a clear and happy smile and Serenity couldn't help but smile back softly. Still holding her glass, she quickly followed Molly further away from the kitchens and out toward the stables. It wasn't very far.
The music and singing swelled up around her. It sounded like they had a whole band in the small building. A soft and welcoming glow poured out through all the doors and windows and laughter floated all around her.
Molly took her hand, which was not customary, but Serenity didn't mind. She pulled her towards the back, away from a crowd of men laughing and talking just outside the main door. They snuck through a small door, having to pull it away from the dirt where it was stuck to fit through and into a corridor lined with stalls.
Serenity immediately blushed at the sounds coming from some of the stalls as Molly laughed and pulled her quietly along. Men and women enjoying themselves in the darkness with moans of pleasure and lust. They climbed a couple stairs so they were crouching on a low platform, hidden by a wall of broken slats of wood.
Serenity looked on in amazement at all the people crammed into the space. A group of men with instruments played to the side and a wide space in the middle of the room had people twirling and dancing together at the upbeat and loud tempo. The rest of the people crowded around them, almost like an arena and they laughed and cheered and drank in complete joy.
She spotted Mr. Knox with an older elegant looking woman who kissed him openly. She assumed it was his wife. The man looked rose red as he blushed, his white hair looking like snow. She had never seen him without his formal suit and straight stature that his station in life required. He looked so warm and inviting as he hugged another young man.
She could feel Molly watch her, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the swirling chaos of the celebration. The whole room was so hot she was sweating immediately, but she had no desire to cool off. Her eyes were wide as they took in everything.
"That is Mr. Knox's wife," Molly said without being asked. "They've been married for forty two years and are still happy. The man who just handed him a drink is his son. He's married to the blonde haired girl on his father's other arm. He has two more sons, but one is part of the royal guard and could not be spared and the other is far away chasing after his wife. Mr. Knox is proud of all his sons."
Serenity smiled at the thought. She had always wanted children and couldn't imagine not being happy for them.
Her eyes gazed over the crowd again.
This time something stood out.
Serenity squinted, trying to pin point what had caught her attention. It took her a moment to realize that it was a person.
As soon as she caught him, she could not look away. Quite simply put, he did not fit in. He was taller than most of the people in the room, with tanned skin and the blackest hair she had ever seen. It shone glossy in the glowing light and danced around in his eyes without him really seeming to care.
And his eyes.
Serenity held her breath as he turned towards her, his stormy dark blue eyes glittering with laughter as he took the hand of a lady and spun her onto the dance floor.
Molly followed her gaze. "He stands out, doesn't he?"
Serenity nodded. "Who is he?"
"Not really sure. His name is Darien, but nobody really knows where he's from. He works in the stables, training the horses. He can handle even the mean tempered ones. Mr. Knox said that he's only here for ten months or something, before moving on to another job waiting for him. I heard he's really well educated, but didn't want to start his career here, so he's just doing what he needs to in order to get by."
Serenity was enraptured by how he moved. He had grace and poise and yet he moved uninhibited. He looked so happy. She forced herself to look away, knowing it was never good to stare.
"He's been here over a month now. I'm surprised you've never seen him."
"The King doesn't allow me in the stables anymore."
As she said it, she winced and looked at Molly, who smiled and put her hand to her lips. "I won't tell anyone you said that."
"Thank you," Serenity said. "Perhaps we should go now."
"Are you sure?"
Serenity nodded. "I just wanted to look. I should get back up to bed before my absence is noticed."
"Would you like me to go up with you?"
Serenity slid out of her spot and quietly down the stairs. "I can find my way. You enjoy your party. Tell Mr. Knox that I wish him a happy birthday."
"I will."
She moved back down the long corridor that had led her in, blushing again at the pleasure filled moans. The warm air of the outside world was cool after the heat of the celebration and Serenity snuck quickly around the side of the barn. Just as she thought it was safe to make the dash to the kitchen, someone came out of the stables just in front of her.
She froze.
The same man she had been captured by before was pulled laughing out of the stable by a brown haired woman she had never seen before. He allowed her to pull him towards her and kiss his jaw flirtatiously.
That's when he noticed her.
She took a step back, eyes wide as he froze. His deep blue eyes seemed to penetrate right through her. She shook her head at him, trying desperately to make him understand that she wasn't supposed to be spotted.
The girl giggled and tried to spin towards her, but he pulled her closer to him, so she was absorbed with kissing his neck.
They just stared at one another as Serenity started to back towards the kitchen. He seemed so frozen, unsure what to do.
"Darien!"
Serenity felt her heart jump at the voice.
'Please,' she mouthed towards him.
It took him a second to consider her. He looked like he wanted to say something, but no sound came from his mouth. His tall, almost intimidating frame stayed perfectly still for a few moments. And then he pulled the girl in his arms towards the voice, successfully turning them away from her, giving her a chance to quickly scoot into the safely covered courtyard of the kitchens.
She breathed heavily, clutching her glass in her hand tightly as her heart thudded around in her chest.
It took her several moments to breathe normally again.
When she felt in control, she all but sprinted into the kitchen, placing her empty glass on the counter without filling it and the rushing back up to her rooms.
First off, I'm going to answer a question I know will be coming up immediately. Someone always fails to read the authors notes and then makes a comment about something I've explained. I picked Serenity and Darien for the name combination. I know it doesn't make any sense because it's supposed to be either Serenity/Endymion or Darien/Serena, but I made this decision for a reason. Serenity is a Queen, so she's royal and her name sort of goes with that. Darien isn't and there for his name has to be a little more common. If started writing it, and it was hard to get someone called Endymion to feel like he's not supposed to be royal. So that's it. I consciously made the decision.
For those who care, I've changed the Intro. If you want to re-read it go ahead, but it's not part of the story. I did have a query if anyone knows the answer, but that's all!
Here's the story!
If there were one thing The Kingdom was known for, it would be that the people loved gossip. Most spouts of idle gossip were relatively innocent. This noble did this, a different lady did that. Mostly it was nothing more than an interesting way to pass the time. But there were a few things that everyone knew were completely true. One was that the poor were poor and the rich were rich. Another was that marriage was finite, and divorce wasn't an option. But the one most whispered about rumor that everyone knew was true, was that the King was cruel to his wife.
Princess Serenity had married the King when she was fourteen years old and he had viewed her as one of his horses, in need of breaking. The beautiful young girl had hoped for nothing more than a peaceful home and the chance to help those around her. She hadn't gotten it. The King was an abusive man and his young wife's spirit had annoyed him. By the time she was 15, her once bright eyes were sad and her seemingly endless energy had calmed to little more than a minimal drawl.
But no matter what the King did to her, the laws of the land made it nearly impossible for her to escape and the people had to watch their shining hope continue to dim until they feared she would fade out completely.
Serenity sat quietly as the procession of nobles bowed one by one to the King and then to her. She didn't react for the most part, unless it was someone she knew. There was no point when her husband sat in his chair as uncaring as anyone could ever be. It was spring and everyone had filed back into the city for the season. The flowers were blossoming and the nobles would be looking to marry off their daughters of age. Every year was the same. A new crop of girls would be presented in a grand ball and any eligible man who was looking for a wife would make himself known.
It was all a little eager, but Serenity numbed herself to it. She had already been married for a few years and she knew more than anyone else that it did not provide any sort of security.
"Are you alright your majesty?"
Serenity looked at Lady Raye, who was one of her more constant companions and faked a smile.
"I am fine," she said softly, then turned back to the procession.
Raye looked worried, but didn't say anything as Serenity gazed steadily on to the flow of people presenting themselves in the palace. She knew it would be over soon and she knew that she didn't have a choice in that matter at all.
Serenity gave a real smile as Lady Amy was introduced as a lady of means, who was still available to marry. Amy smiled back warmly, holding a faded book in her slim hands and looking every bit as lovely and happy as she had the last time Serenity had seen her.
At long last the line came to an end and Serenity waited patiently for the King to leave before her.
He stood up quickly and it looked like he was going to simply pass by her without a word. But she wasn't that lucky.
At the last moment he turned his dark gaze on her. "You will make yourself ready for me tonight," he said commandingly before continuing out of the room. His tall, intimidating mass made everyone step eagerly out of his path.
Raye took her hand gently as Serenity looked down.
"Come on," Raye said softly, "let's go meet Lita in the gardens. She promised to be there after she was done with her husband."
Serenity nodded, leaving the room with much more grace and poise than her husband had done. The guards all bowed to her, placing their hands on their chests and the women curtsied very low.
Raye continued to hold her hand, walking slightly behind her, while they made their way out into the beautiful hot sunshine of the glorious day. Serenity felt the fresh air cleanse her and she breathed in deeply as the smell of roses permeated the air around her.
"Was it awful?" Lita asked cheerfully.
Serenity sat on the low stone bench as Raye sighed dramatically.
"There are more girls this year and not enough men."
"My husband says that there are hardly any young men coming of age, and even fewer who are interested in marriage yet. It might come down to us losing some of our ladies to foreign kingdoms."
Serenity didn't say anything as she gazed over the seas of red roses in front of her. They were beautiful this year. Some were still very new and others had not yet bloomed, but she could tell it wouldn't be long now.
"Serenity?"
She looked back at her friends, realizing that she had stopped listening to them. She felt guilt well up inside her.
"I'm sorry, I must be more tired than I thought. What was the question?"
They looked at each other before turning back to her with worry in their eyes.
"We were just wondering how far it is to your home."
Serenity crossed her hands across her lap, trying to appear as involved in the conversation as she could. But thinking of her home saddened her, so she numbered herself to it.
"Two months I believe," she answered. "But that's if you don't travel through the night. When I was brought here, we traveled almost constantly, so it was less than that. I couldn't very well show up late to my wedding."
A few years ago she might have said that with amusement, but today her voice was flat.
"I'm sure, if the situation called for it, the King would send out notices to all neighboring kingdoms. There must be men somewhere," Lita said trying to keep the tone light.
"It shouldn't matter to you. You've already found one."
Lita glanced at Serenity, who didn't react. "Yes, I did."
Serenity knew why Lita didn't talk about her husband. It was because she loved him. Their marriage had not been arranged. They had fallen in love, and then he had asked for her hand. Lita had cried in happiness as she said yes and they had married only two months later. And now, two years into it, Lita was glowing with the beginnings of her first child. She was hardly two months along, but already it had started to show and Lita felt awful for being happy when her friend was not.
"Things will work themselves out," Serenity said gently. "They always do."
Once she had believed it, but she had no conviction in her voice anymore. Things would not work out for her. She was resigned to that.
That evening, when most of the palace had gone to bed, Serenity sat awake, waiting for her husband to come to her. This was not a rare occurrence, but it was not one of any pleasure. The King felt pleasure in dominating her and she had long ago stopped fighting him. It was his success in breaking her that he continued to be attracted to.
He came in without ceremony. The secret door that lead to his room swung open and he stepped in as if the room were his. He looked at her, sitting quiet and calm on the bed and smiled a dark smile.
"Shall we exchange pleasantries?"
She didn't answer. He wasn't looking for an answer. She stood up as he came towards her, unbuttoning his pants and not bothering to take his shirt off.
"Take that off," he said.
Serenity slipped her nightgown over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor without ceremony.
The way he looked at her, grinning softly, was not something that made her want him to touch her. She forced herself not to shiver or look away from him. He reached out to touch her, his hands rough against her pale skin.
Grabbing her arm, he spun her around and pushed her onto the tall bed.
This was what it was always like. Serenity didn't know what pleasure in sex was. Her husband had never made love to her. He touched her frequently, but not with any care.
She cringed as he forced himself into her, not giving her the time to become adjusted to him as he almost immediately began thrusting. He took her hips tightly in his hands, holding her steady as he increased his speed.
This was not what it was supposed to be like. She knew it. She had overheard Lita speaking to Raye about how much pleasure she got from her husband. The sensual way in which he touched her. How her body heat up in desire at the mere though of him.
The only thing Serenity could say she may even like about this time with her husband, was that it was short.
With an intense groan, he released into her.
He breathed heavily for a moment and pulled himself slowly out, laughing to himself before slapping her hard on her back end.
"Don't cringe my Queen," he said in a mocking voice. "You're not as attractive when you pull your face like that."
He was already walking away, doing his pants back up.
Serenity waited until she heard the little door click shut before rolling onto her back, pulling her blankets with her to cover her nude form.
She stared up at the ceiling, feeling the slick wetness of him drip gently down her leg. Every time she felt a little sore. Every time she was aware of the marks his fingers had made in her body as he squeezed her too tight while he climaxed.
And every time she was unable to stop a few tears from sliding silently down her face before she was able to compose herself enough to clean herself up and then crawl into bed, beaten and hurt.
"I was thinking that perhaps we should go into the city," Raye said absently moving around Serenity's bedroom as a maid did Serenity's hair.
"If you wish," Serenity said without enthusiasm.
Raye glanced at her, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, she changed the subject.
"Why don't you wear your hair down anymore?"
"What do you mean?"
"When you came here, I remember seeing you with your silky blonde hair shining in delicate curls all down your back and I was completely jealous that my hair was simply straight and I couldn't pull it off."
Serenity smiled softly. "Your hair is beautiful when it's down Raye."
Raye waved her hand at the comment. "Yes, but I couldn't always be bothered. You used to wear it down all the time."
"The King doesn't like it."
Raye looked at her. "So?"
Serenity looked down at her hands. The heavy gold ring of her marriage was gaudy on her finger. "It's easier not to give him a reason."
Raye nodded as the maid finished her hair and left the room silently.
"I shouldn't have said that," Serenity said softly.
"Serenity, it kills me that you're like this," Raye said sitting down beside her, looking at her with concern in her eyes. "Please, don't shut me out for this moment. Talk to me. You used to fight so hard."
Serenity felt the tears threaten to come, but she fought to keep them at bay. "Sometimes, you only have so much fight in you."
"So you've really given up?"
"Do I have another choice?" She asked quietly.
"Yes!" Raye said with passion. "You have every choice in the world available to you. Defy him. Stand up against him. Dare to be happy despite what he's done to you."
"What's the point?" Serenity asked.
Raye looked like she wanted to slap her. "The point," she hissed through her teeth, "is that you've let a horrible, greedy son of a whore take away the very thing that made you special."
Serenity looked up in surprise at Raye's vulgar words.
"Finally," Raye stood up in anger. "A reaction. You've been nothing, but a dull grey stone for months."
Serenity looked away from her, to her reflection in the mirror. She looked at her pale face, flawless as ever. Her blue eyes, blue as the sky. Blonde hair, pulled up and pinned above her. She knew she was beautiful, but it had been a long time since she had been able to feel it.
"The woman I knew had a spirit that could never be crushed."
"It was crushed Raye," Serenity said without emotion. "That doesn't mean I'm any different, it just means you were wrong about who you thought I was."
"You let him walk all over you."
"He is the King and he is my husband."
"He is a cruel uncaring demon and you are a hundred times better than him."
"Why?" Serenity asked. "What makes me better?"
Raye felt the anger slowly leave her at Serenity's defeated tone. She hesitated, unclenching her fists as the worry for her friend started to come back. "Your heart," she answered seriously. "It was always bigger than the rest of ours."
Serenity didn't answer.
"Perhaps you should spend some time alone," Raye said. "Lita and I will go to town. Why don't you walk around the gardens for awhile and try to remember what used to make you happy."
She didn't move as Raye walked out of the room. This was not the first time they had, had this kind argument, but it was the first time Raye had decided to walk out on her.
She sighed, looking around her room and feeling alone. Mostly, her friends took turns staying close to her, hoping to make her feel better. She wasn't usually by herself, with her own thoughts, unless it was night. The glaring differences of the bright sun through the windows felt odd to her.
She got up and walked towards her personal bookcase, thinking that a book would help get her mind off the situation. She ran her hands along the spines of the books, wondering which adventure she might feel like this time. The romances lined the top shelf, dusty from lack of use. The idea of true love simply didn't apply anymore. She had delved into history, learning everything there was to know about the world. She was now fully learned in most kingdoms, but the idea of filling her mind with facts didn't appeal to her today. Neither did adventure.
But her hand did stop, as it always did, on a few leather bound volumes that had no title. She knew what they were and she always stopped to acknowledge them, but she never pulled them out. They had stayed there for years. She had stopped writing in them a few months after her wedding.
She continued past them, thinking that perhaps she would need to visit the library for a more extensive selection, but her argument with Raye made her glance back at them.
What used to make her happy?
She was almost afraid of the answer. She had been happy once, she was sure of it.
Slowly, she slid the first volume out and delicately opened it to the first page. Her perfectly curled and girlish writing almost seemed to smile at her and it immediately made her heart ache.
She flipped to the first page, noting the date. She had been twelve when she had first started keeping these journals. Her mother had insisted, smiling at her as she told her that one day she would want to look back.
She started reading.
'Mother took me to the country for a few days and we just now returned to the palace. I loved the little vacation, but the palace is really my home. Everyone I know is here. My friends, my family and everyone I love. Most importantly is Seiya. For my birthday he gave me a beautiful golden locket. He laughed when I blushed, but then kissed my cheek and told me I am beautiful. I hope that one day my husband will be as handsome and kind as Seiya. I would marry him, if only he were a prince.'
She closed the book without reading more, remembering her childhood crush. The young man had grown up in the palace, having lost his parents. The queen had taken him and his two brothers and made sure they were provided for until they were old enough to take care of their own estate. Seiya had been her closest friend.
She slid the book back onto the bookshelf, knowing she was close to breaking down.
Raye was wrong. She couldn't handle trying to be happy again. No matter what, she would never have the hope and expectations of life as she had, had as a child. It would hurt too much to have half.
That night, Serenity wrapped herself in her night robes, knowing that the King would not come to visit her today. Already her maid had informed her that he had called his favorite mistress to his rooms and that meant that he would not care about her being ready for him.
It was late. Too late for her to be up, but she couldn't sleep. After the day by herself, spent finding things to occupy her mind, she found that already too many things had been able to sneak into her mind.
She reached over to her glass of milk, but found it empty.
It was so late.
She sighed, not wanting to wake one of the servants to get her more. She pushed her loose hair over her shoulder and took her glass with her out of the room and through the palace.
She had done this before. The kitchen staff knew her and knew not to make a big deal when she was getting something for herself, but none of them would be awake now. This late at night, the only people up would be the guards around the palace whose job it was to protect them. But none of them were inside.
The cold marble of the floor made her wish she had remembered to put on her slippers, but it was too late now to turn back. She flew easily down the spiral staircases that led to the dining room. From there, she entered the small servant's door that lead down to the kitchens.
The room glowed softly with candlelight, but nobody was there. She made her way across the large stone floor to the cold room where the milk was kept.
But then she stopped.
Serenity heard a faint music drift through the empty room. She could hardly make out what it was it was so faint.
Curious, she moved towards the door in the back of the baking room, which led outside to where the coal and fire kept the room unusually warm. The embers glowed softly as she passed them into the open courtyard.
The night was warm. A soft breeze drifted passed her, playing lightly with her hair as the sound steadily grew louder. And with it came voices. Lots of voices.
"Your majesty?"
Serenity spun around at the startled voice, but was immediately relieved to see her personal maid Molly looking at her with shock in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Molly said with a quick curtsy. "If there is something you need, I would be honored to get it for you."
Serenity shook her head. "I was just getting myself some milk when I heard the music. Where is it coming from?"
Serenity was a little surprised at how eager her voice sounded and she knew by the look on Molly's face that she was thinking the same thing.
"Mr. Knox had his sixtieth birthday today. Some of the men put together a little celebration in one of the empty stables. They're having a dance."
Serenity smiled. "Mr. Knox runs the palace, does he not?"
"Yes, he does," Molly said still a little shocked.
"I did not know it was his birthday."
Molly nodded. "Would you like to see it?"
Serenity looked at her surprised. "What do you mean?"
"It's the only stable that's empty because it's too easy to break into. There's few ways in that I'm sure we could find without you being seen if you wanted to take a look."
She hesitated for only a moment, wondering if she would get in trouble for it. "I would love to."
Molly smiled, a clear and happy smile and Serenity couldn't help but smile back softly. Still holding her glass, she quickly followed Molly further away from the kitchens and out toward the stables. It wasn't very far.
The music and singing swelled up around her. It sounded like they had a whole band in the small building. A soft and welcoming glow poured out through all the doors and windows and laughter floated all around her.
Molly took her hand, which was not customary, but Serenity didn't mind. She pulled her towards the back, away from a crowd of men laughing and talking just outside the main door. They snuck through a small door, having to pull it away from the dirt where it was stuck to fit through and into a corridor lined with stalls.
Serenity immediately blushed at the sounds coming from some of the stalls as Molly laughed and pulled her quietly along. Men and women enjoying themselves in the darkness with moans of pleasure and lust. They climbed a couple stairs so they were crouching on a low platform, hidden by a wall of broken slats of wood.
Serenity looked on in amazement at all the people crammed into the space. A group of men with instruments played to the side and a wide space in the middle of the room had people twirling and dancing together at the upbeat and loud tempo. The rest of the people crowded around them, almost like an arena and they laughed and cheered and drank in complete joy.
She spotted Mr. Knox with an older elegant looking woman who kissed him openly. She assumed it was his wife. The man looked rose red as he blushed, his white hair looking like snow. She had never seen him without his formal suit and straight stature that his station in life required. He looked so warm and inviting as he hugged another young man.
She could feel Molly watch her, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the swirling chaos of the celebration. The whole room was so hot she was sweating immediately, but she had no desire to cool off. Her eyes were wide as they took in everything.
"That is Mr. Knox's wife," Molly said without being asked. "They've been married for forty two years and are still happy. The man who just handed him a drink is his son. He's married to the blonde haired girl on his father's other arm. He has two more sons, but one is part of the royal guard and could not be spared and the other is far away chasing after his wife. Mr. Knox is proud of all his sons."
Serenity smiled at the thought. She had always wanted children and couldn't imagine not being happy for them.
Her eyes gazed over the crowd again.
This time something stood out.
Serenity squinted, trying to pin point what had caught her attention. It took her a moment to realize that it was a person.
As soon as she caught him, she could not look away. Quite simply put, he did not fit in. He was taller than most of the people in the room, with tanned skin and the blackest hair she had ever seen. It shone glossy in the glowing light and danced around in his eyes without him really seeming to care.
And his eyes.
Serenity held her breath as he turned towards her, his stormy dark blue eyes glittering with laughter as he took the hand of a lady and spun her onto the dance floor.
Molly followed her gaze. "He stands out, doesn't he?"
Serenity nodded. "Who is he?"
"Not really sure. His name is Darien, but nobody really knows where he's from. He works in the stables, training the horses. He can handle even the mean tempered ones. Mr. Knox said that he's only here for ten months or something, before moving on to another job waiting for him. I heard he's really well educated, but didn't want to start his career here, so he's just doing what he needs to in order to get by."
Serenity was enraptured by how he moved. He had grace and poise and yet he moved uninhibited. He looked so happy. She forced herself to look away, knowing it was never good to stare.
"He's been here over a month now. I'm surprised you've never seen him."
"The King doesn't allow me in the stables anymore."
As she said it, she winced and looked at Molly, who smiled and put her hand to her lips. "I won't tell anyone you said that."
"Thank you," Serenity said. "Perhaps we should go now."
"Are you sure?"
Serenity nodded. "I just wanted to look. I should get back up to bed before my absence is noticed."
"Would you like me to go up with you?"
Serenity slid out of her spot and quietly down the stairs. "I can find my way. You enjoy your party. Tell Mr. Knox that I wish him a happy birthday."
"I will."
She moved back down the long corridor that had led her in, blushing again at the pleasure filled moans. The warm air of the outside world was cool after the heat of the celebration and Serenity snuck quickly around the side of the barn. Just as she thought it was safe to make the dash to the kitchen, someone came out of the stables just in front of her.
She froze.
The same man she had been captured by before was pulled laughing out of the stable by a brown haired woman she had never seen before. He allowed her to pull him towards her and kiss his jaw flirtatiously.
That's when he noticed her.
She took a step back, eyes wide as he froze. His deep blue eyes seemed to penetrate right through her. She shook her head at him, trying desperately to make him understand that she wasn't supposed to be spotted.
The girl giggled and tried to spin towards her, but he pulled her closer to him, so she was absorbed with kissing his neck.
They just stared at one another as Serenity started to back towards the kitchen. He seemed so frozen, unsure what to do.
"Darien!"
Serenity felt her heart jump at the voice.
'Please,' she mouthed towards him.
It took him a second to consider her. He looked like he wanted to say something, but no sound came from his mouth. His tall, almost intimidating frame stayed perfectly still for a few moments. And then he pulled the girl in his arms towards the voice, successfully turning them away from her, giving her a chance to quickly scoot into the safely covered courtyard of the kitchens.
She breathed heavily, clutching her glass in her hand tightly as her heart thudded around in her chest.
It took her several moments to breathe normally again.
When she felt in control, she all but sprinted into the kitchen, placing her empty glass on the counter without filling it and the rushing back up to her rooms.
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End of Chapter One! Please Review! I love reviews! ~JFrost
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So what do you think? This is just the first Chapter. check out the rest of the story here!
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