Not Like the Movies - Chapter 1

 Not Like The Movies

Part 1

 Not Like The Movies

Chapter 1

Of Course. Who would not know Dara Park of 2ne1? She's pretty famous. They sometimes call her Goddess D. She's so beautiful inside and out. She had been through a lot of trials but she did not falter. She stood her ground. She never let those people win and let herself fall down. Yes, that's Dara Park for you, the mascot of the group. The Ahjumma. The Fake maknae. Yes, they call her lots of nicknames.

But one moniker is closest to her heart the most. Santokki. Why? Because her bestfriend was the one who started calling her that.

Santokki. His Little Rabbit.

That's me.  I am Sandara Park and I am in love with my bestfriend. No one knows it aside from my friends back in the Philippines. Even Bom, CL and Minzy don't know my feelings about him.

Last night, I was crying again. And yes, it's because of him. It hurts so much to see him with someone else. I called my friend Roxanne and told her about the recent heartache I am feeling. She was just there listening to my rants and cry, and by the time I finished, I heard her heave a heavy sigh.

"Sandy... Why don't you just tell him how you feel? I know that we've talked about this already," she said right away.  "But you have to tell him or regret it in the end."

But I would shake my head forcefully and whisper, "I would just embarrass myself. He sees me as a best friend only Rox, I don't want our relationship as friends to be awkward because of what I feel for him. No, my secret will just stay between you and me and Melissa."

"Don't tell me I did not warn you..." she said. Her voice still sweet. I know she wants me to be happy but it's impossible. It's obvious how he likes Bommie. Yes, you heard it right. He likes Bommie, the way he looks at her, the way he acts whenever we are around her. That's also one of the reasons why I did not tell the girls.

My heart breaks every minute I see him smile at her. And I think Bom also feels the same. So I really don't want to mess it up.

"So, I heard that you'll have a concert This December Sandy... Is it true?" Roxanne asked, that night. She was trying to make me think of something else other than this. So I pretended to be swayed.

"Ah! Yes, First weekend of December. It's not 2ne1's concert. The whole YG family will be performing there too. Do you want to come and watch?"

"I'd love to Sandy but I have movie projects and guesstings on my schedule. I am sorry." she said but added, "But I promise I'll visit you this Christmas!" rightaway.

"Oh, okay. Hmmm have to sleep now. Preparations for the Concert will start tomorrow so I need to sleep early. Bye, Roxy! Mahal Kita!"

"Bye, Labsyoo too Sandy! Kita na lang tayo sa Christmas!"

***************

We are all so busy with the practices and preparations for the concert. We are now in the practice room and everyone is so excited about it. The room was full of happy noises from all the people, funny how the only voice I'm hearing is his.

"Everyone, listen here please. We have to start our practice now. Boss YG will be here this afternoon so please conduct yourselves properly." I feel bad for the trainer so I instantly sat down at the nearest seat.

Someone instantly sat down beside me too, I don't how my heart does that but before I even looked at who sat beside me, it seems like it already knew.

"Hello, Santokki!" jiyong greeted me with a wide grin. I smiled at him.

"Hello, Dongsaeng..."

"I told you not to call me that!" he whined.

"Yah, G-dragon! Why are you there? Go sit beside Sean and minzy!"

"Eh? I want to seat beside my Bestfriend!" sounding like a child. I could not help but chuckle at his childishness. He heard me and so focused his attention back at me. "Yah! Don't you want to sit beside me too? Don't you miss your best friend?!"

I was clutching my sides now, and almost in tears when I slightly opened my right eye, i don't know if it is just me, his eyes were like staring at me like... oh no.. no.. no.. your delusional mind is kicking again. You should learn to control your feeling, dara!

"I have missed you, Dongsaeng. so go and sit beside minki now. Will still be able to talk later. Work is work right?" I know how serious he can be when it's work time so I know he'd understand.

"Ah, yeah Okay. Let's talk some other time. Maybe, a coffee date with my bessy would do?" he asked.

"Sure, but we have to work so go now!" I pushed him and T.O.P replaced him. "Seunghyun." I said as a way of acknowledging him.

He just beamed at me shyly. Huh. This guy. He's so manly in front of everyone but to all of us here he's like a shy little boy, too timid to even have small chit chat. How adorable.

The practice went well, everyday had been so busy we could not have the time to rest that much, or to even update me2! Oh, I miss updating the fans.

And so the day of the concert finally arrived. All of us will have a solo performance aside from the group one. I will perform mine today. I just want to get this off my chest. Once and for all...

**************

"Bom-noona, what song are you gonna sing tomorrow?" jiyong suddenly was with us again and of course, trying to get bommie's attention again. Should I eave the two alone?

"You and I, I already told you yesterday!"

See? She already told him yet he would still ask just to talk to her. I heaved another heavy sigh and decided to just leave them before I even cry in front of them.

"Dara! Where are you going?"

"A few more minutes and I'll be up for my solo." Please don't ask me to stay anymore.

"Oh, I see..." he said, releasing his grip on my arm. "Hwaiting!"

"Nae, Dara, hwaiting!" Bom cheered me, too. But I could not even give them a smile back. It hurts so much. I turned around without saying anything.

"What's wrong with her?" I heard Bom's voice before the PD called my name.

"Dara, on stand by. After  the colab between se7en and Gummy, you're next."

"Comin'" my voice almost broke. I was restraining myself from crying.

"Daa-unnie!" CL and Minzy suddenly appeared beside me. They are worried about me, maybe they thought I am nervous about my solo performance. I tried to smile for them but failed so I just looked down.

"Oh, Dara-unnie, you'll be fine! You can do it!" oh my sweet little minki... I hugged her.

"Dara, go to your place now..." PD's booming voice made me release minzy.

I sat down at the high stool. It's dark. I can't even see a soul. If not for the murmurs from the audience I would think that there is not anyone here.

Then the lights turned on, lights focused on me. Fans are shouting my name. The music started playing and they suddenly felt the song would be not the usual songs 2ne1 sings.

I'm Your Average Dreamer
I'm a True Escapist
Always Expecting a Happy Ending...
Maybe I've been watching
Too many movies
Maybe I Should Grow Up
And Stop Pretending

All the memories I've been keeping flashed in my mind like it's just yesterday. I should not have believe in fairytales, where everyone lives a happy life. Where the princess gets her prince. where the damsel in distress gets rescued. where the girl who falls in love would be rewarded an ever lasting love.

It did not work for me...

When I saw your face though
Everything was slow-mo
And I started wondering why...

Why Can't it be
Just a pathway full of roses
Leading to a sunset view
With the one you've always dream of waits

"Dara-ah, look!" jiyong pointed at the sky yet when I looked up I saw nothing but the evening sky. I was about to retort and scold him for tricking me but when I looked back at him once more, he's holding a small box.  I thought my heart stopped beating for a minute.

He opened the velvet box and it revealed a simple but beautiful  engagement ring. I stared at in awe.

"It's an engagement ring."

"Yes, it is. What do you think? Do you think she'll like it? Is it beautiful?"

Why Can't it be
It was like a movie scene the way I fell for you
Only you, didn't fall
Now it's not like the movies at all
Woo... Oh... Ohhh...

Should I kept my heart shut?
Should I've been more patient?
Should I kept an eye on my addiction?

"Omo, Dara's crying!" one fan shouted. I did not notice that tears are already falling down my cheeks. My heart was breaking into small pieces. I continued to sing. Some fans were already crying silently with me.

What was I expecting?
Did I have a vision of a scene, that only lives in fiction
Now I know that you are not
Gonna be my co-star
And I start to wonder why...

Why Can't it be
Just a pathway full of roses
Leading to a sunset view
With the one you've always dream of waits
Why Can't it be
It was like a movie scene the way I fell for you
Only you, didn't fall
Now it's not like the movies at all...

Yes, this song is for him. For my best friend. For kwon jiyong. And our love story, is not like the movies where both of the characters fall deeply in love with the other. Where characters end up with each other.

Yes, there's a pathway full of roses but the man who's waiting at the end of the aisle is not waiting for me... His heart belongs to someone else...

After this song, I would stop asking why...

It's time to stop my daydreaming...

It's time to grow up...

It's time to move on...

It's time for me to let him go for he would never be the leading man of my life's movie no matter how much patience... I will only gain heartaches and tears...

Just a pathway full of roses
Leading to a sunset view
With the one you've always dream of waits
Why Can't it be
It was like a movie scene the way I fell for you
Only you, didn't fall
Now it's not like the movies at all
Woo... Oh... Ohh...

The lights went dead and the crowd erupted in cheers and cries, it's finish... so is my love for Kwon Jiyong...