Still Breathing - Over Part V - MNH

Okay fifth installment of the story Over. I didn't know this would go this far!

Over

Part V

Still Breathing

by: midorinohime

Hao's POV

/Where am I?/ Everything around me is so dark. I couldn't see a single thing but I hear so many things I hear so many voices talking, wailing, crying silently, shouting. But why don't I see them? The last thing I remember was Anna leaving me. I thought she would understand. I didn't plan to force her into this relationship so I tried to be honest with her, hoping that she would forgive me. But I really don't blame her for leaving me. That was so unfair of me. I lied to her saying things that hurt her, things that forced her to forget my brother. I think I was really blinded. My love for her was just so strong and my love for my brother was overpowered by the jealousy I am feeling right now, for once again, he got what I badly wanted.

I know that there's a little chance that she would learn to love me but I am ready to take chances just to be with her. I swore that I would do my best to make her happy but I guess her happiness is not really in my hands. Seeing her cry, walking down the aisle. She's smiling but her eyes clearly shows none of that happiness. She tried to but you can't force your heart to feel and show something you don't really feel.

And here I am, in this weird place, I don't even know where. /where's my car?/ I thought to myself and just that I remember what happened just a few moments ago. I had an accident. /Then am I dead now?/

~o~

Give me any reason to believe
'Cause I swear I'm done here
'Cause I've seen a bigger picture
And I'm looking for some answers

~o~

If I am dead, then everything is fine. No one really cares about me. Anna did but after what I did, she probably hate me to the core of her being. And my brother. I guess I deserve to die.

"Hao..." I closed my eyes as I remember old memories once again. I smiled as I picture Anna's pretty face and Yoh's goofy smile. "Hao..."

"Onii-chan! what are you doing all alone here?"

"Nothing, just letting jii-san's anger subside."

"Why? what did you do again, hao?" Anna asked sitting beside me on the green mat of grass. Yoh followed suit.

"You know that I don't really like being dictated what I have to do. Even one bit Anna... So I just told them that I won't do it but of course, they got angry. Tch. what an open minded grandfather he is!" I exclaimed.

"It's okay Hao... You don't have to do what they are asking you to."

"Who wants to go swimming?!" Yoh screamed, taking off his shirt. "Come on Onii-chan! Anna-chan! Let's forget everything! Let's just have fun!" He ran towards the lake and jumped in making a huge splash of water.

"Ah! Yoh! I don't have dress with me here! Look what you have done!" Anna complained. Her dress was not that wet at all.

"He! It's not yet wet Anna." I said smirking down at her. I stoop up and took off my shirt too. "Come on!"

"I don't want to!" she said defiantly as if measuring our patience.

"Don't want to?" I asked raising an eye brow at her.

"Hmmm. Okay." I started walking towards the lake and smiled after hearing her sigh of relief.

"Ototou come here for a second." I whispered something in his ears and his smile widen and nodded vigorously. I looked back at where Anna was staying and saw that she's lying on her back with her eyes closed... "1...2.." I mouthed at my brother. We sneak up on her and suddenly lifted her up.

"Ahh! Hey! Yoh! Hao! Put me down! hey!"

But we just laughed and continued to run off. I counted again from one to three and we both threw her into the water... Her expression was priceless. Our laughter echoed through the field. And the water fights began...

~o~

Tell me that it's worth it
'Cause I'm doing all I can to fight it
And I've never been this scared
And my moment's finally here

~o~

All they did was to help me out and they were so good to me but I chose to hurt them both because of my selfishness. And for this, I will do my best to fight what I feel for her. I would give way to their love. Please don't let me die right now. Please don't. I have to make it up to them.

Flashback

Yoh started playing her favorite piece. The flower girls and the other people on the procession started walking. I looked at my brother and his head was bent down, biting his lips. Turning away from him, I saw my bride. She's so beautiful, yet I can see and feel her sadness. I continued to stare at her, people patting my back as a gesture to congratulate me. She's crying. And I know, I am absolutely sure she's crying not because she's happy but she's losing all hope of experiencing happiness.

Half way to the altar I excused myself and walked towards the priest. The people didn't notice for all their eyes were on the stunningly beautiful bride walking slowly down the aisle.

"Father, can I have moment please." He nodded.

I stepped closer to him. "Please don't register this marriage until I tell you so. I would send a message to you."

"Why... young man? had a change of heart?" the priest has this teasing tone but I didn't feel like answering back.

"No father, I would never have a change of heart... But I have to reconsider things for my bride. So can you please wait for my letter?"

"Sure..." he whispered back, frowning.

I went back to my place after a moment of talking to the priest and held her hand. Gently guiding her to stand in front of the priest.

End of Flashback

~o~


Time's racing (Please slow down)
I got to find my way out
I'm hopeless (But hoping)
My lungs won't fail me now
'Cause I'm still breathing

~o~

I hear the voices again. But one voice stand out.

"Onii-chan..." my younger brother's weak voice echoed in my mind. "Onii-chan please be strong... Please don't leave us like this... you promised that you'd take care of her. You promised Onii-chan..."

Flashback

"Do you really love her Onii-chan?" my younger brother asked. His face, usually plastered with a goofy smile, now all masked with all seriousness.

"Yes, I do."

"Will you promise me something Onii-chan?" he asked looking down. All the people in the part congratulated us on our engagement. Now, i am all alone with my brother. It's already midnight but both of us feel not sleepy yet.

"What?"

"Please make her happy... Take care of her... ne, Onii-chan?" he asked fighting back tears. I know he wanted to cry now. but he's fighting really bad for it to not fall freely. "Onii-chan?"

"You know even if you didn't ask.. I will do just that, Otouto... You don't have to worry..." I said ruffling his chocolate brown hair.

"Onii-chan... promise me..." promise me or what? you'll take her away from me?

"Okay okay... I promise... Happy now?"

End of Flashback

"You promised Onii-chan..." he repeated. "She needs you... I need you... I need my Onii-chan... please fight death... fight for me... fight for her... fight for your life... please..." His voice warmed my heart. /How could I hate my Otouto?? How could I do this to him After all the things I did, he's still here begging for me to fight for my life when I clearly made his life hell, taking her away from him. What a good brother I am./ I thought bitterly. /Don't worry brother I promised I am not going to die yet. I need to finish something first... I have to make things right.../

~o~

It's hard to be a man
But I'm doing all I can
I'm ready to give this all I have
I'm ready to be amazed
'Cause I'm standing here alone
Trying to make this life my own
And nothing will keep this heart from beating
I'm still breathing

~o~